I've been spending the last couple of days in St. Louis, Missouri, visiting my Gramma in the hospital and I've been staying at my Aunt & Uncle's place while I'm here. The phone rang very early this morning, around 5 am I think it was (when I glanced at the clock anyway). I figured it might be my Gramma's doctor but no one came downstairs to tell me that anything had happened, so I went back to sleep. I woke up just now and read a note that my Uncle had left me on the kitchen counter. It said to go and read an email that my Aunt sent to family members this morning regarding Gramma. She is just on the verge of 82 and has been very ill for the last 6 months... this is the email from my Aunt Debby:

I am so sad to tell you what is happening. The doctor called this AM and he was shaken by how Mom has deteriorated in the last 3 days. We told him we are cancelling the lung cancer treatment and that she hasn’t eaten barely anything other than orange juice or says she eats mashed potatoes. She is not drinking water except for a few sips all day long. In her directive, she asked not to be fed or given water to keep her alive. He talked about a brain scan and another test. As POA (power of attorney) I asked my Husband to speak to him for me, he told the Doctor of the weekend events. Her malnourishment and choosing not to eat has worsened. My husband told him that we are wanting to let her make her decision, which is to go to be with the Lord and her husband.

In the State of Missouri, we could place her in Hospice, however, she must not live beyond 6 months or they will kick her out of Hospice. Missouri passed this law in the last year or so. Sandy being here has helped me see her somewhat differently and though it’s so hard to think of losing her, I know that it’s coming. I don’t know how long she will last, but I do think that he will discharge her today and he said he will try to send her back to NHC and make her comfortable. Whether or not NHC will have problems with that, I don’t know. She is extremely weak, hallucinating and the added events of the things happening with Bonnie P., her stalker basically, have taken her to a no-return point. She has made deliberate choices to get her desires and I understand what she wants, I think we all do.

The sweetness we had with her last night was so tender, so much peace came over me watching Sandy with her. I could sit back and watch God reaching down through Sandy and it was beyond special. Sandy truly has a gift with Grandma that I did not expect. I can praise God for her today and the time she has given this weekend.

I know everyone is far away. If you have time to make a trip and want to see her, this would be the time. But I know that some would rather remember the Grandma at the 80th birthday party and I understand… I know how hard this is, I know there’s no hope except for Heaven and her home is there, and in this I find peace. But we are first of the flesh and the loss of my Mom who has totally consumed our lives for the last six months, seems like it’s too soon. I don’t know what will happen today as far as arrangements but she needs total care for all hygiene and personal needs. It takes 2 nurses sometimes to do that. I will keep you informed as much as possible, just be in prayer for her peace.

Love,

Mom & Me

My Aunt & Uncle are such wonderful people. And even though there are 4 children to my Gramma, she chose to live here, close to them, in St. Louis. They've both been enduring her health care for a long time (over the past 20 or so years I believe). It's so much stress, you would not believe, when a family member up and volunteers to care for a sick loved one. Someone had to do it, and they did. I am so very proud & thankful for the two of them and all they have done for her.

My Gramma loves butterflies. I'll be going to the Butterfly House here, later today. I hope to catch some special pictures I can add later to this blog entry. And honestly, I could write a book on Bonnie P., my Gramma's stalker. I just might do that down the road.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then why do I need words to describe my pictures? Just a thought I had. I suppose some are better with words than others. I know there are a lot of folks out there who are better with words than me. So, I choose less words, on somedays, I guess. But in reality, if we were to ever sit down and have a conversation, I tend to be a pretty chatty person. Or not, if I'm in one of my quiet moods. :)

(with love)

This photo amazes me actually. Not the fact that I took it, but for the simple fact that I've personally never seen bees working so hard like this well into the fall. Normally when cooler weather arrives, the bees are long gone. However I do believe since all the rain and flooding in the South over the past month, it has shocked and changed the environment quite a bit.

My blessing for today is this: A friend of a dear friend sold their child's used bike to me today for $5. I could hardly believe it when I opened the door to step outside. This sweet little child was standing there with this bike, perfect size shape and color for my son. It couldn't have come at a better time.

I'm so very thankful now that I will be able to teach my little boy how to ride his bicycle outside at the park, training wheels first and helmet always, with the rest of the children. The way it should be.